s u n h d a y

Vad är det för skillnad mellan att längta och att sakna?

Jag brukar differentiera orden med att sakna är det dåliga och längta är det bra.
Sakna är bakåt, längta är framåt.

Men håller det?

Saknar gör du när du tänker på en person som fattas dig och blir ledsen.
Längtar gör du när du tänker på en person som fattas dig och blir glad.

Men är det så enkelt?


Om man längtar efter någon så att det nästan gör ont, om man blir så glad att man nästan blir ledsen... blir längtan till saknad då?
Vart går gränsen?

"Genom kärlek blir vi människor."

Varför lever jag för framtiden, och inte för idag?
Låt mig bli nutid. Låt mig vara presens.

It's tragic; you tried to cut yourself in half,
But this isn't magic; in fact it's something much more dark, or more dramatic
Self harm, that’s what they call it.
'Cause it just affects you.
It's your life, your body, so you can choose what you do,
And if one day you can't rein it in,
and of your last breath you are the only witness,
Then so be it, cause it’s your last breath,
and it's nobody else’s business.
But, how about your little sister?
I mean, you think your life's been bad,
And by no means am I belittling that,
cause I know the troubles you've had
But a teen finding out her sister chose death over life,
Finding out instead of turning to her with your problems,
You turned to a knife
That's a whole lot of pain to deal with, and a whole lot of damage
And the only role model she has is little more than words engraved in granite.
But as you said before, this just affects you.
It's your life, your body, so you can choose what you do.
And if one day you can't rein it in,
and of your last breath you are the only witness,
then so be it,
cause it’s your last breath,
and it's nobody else’s business.
But then, how about your parents?
God knows they've done all they can to support.
Yeah, you didn't go up in a mansion,
But they gave you the best life they could afford,
And the second that last bit of life tickles out,
and your lungs cease to breath,
They've fail the most important task that they will ever receive.
They failed to give their child a life that’s worth living,
And that's a failure as long as they live, of themselves, is unforgiving.
But as you said before, this just affects you.
It's your life, your body, so you can choose what you do.
And if one day you can't rein it in,
and of your last breath you are the only witness,
then so be it,
cause it’s your last breath,
and it's nobody else’s business.
But, how about your friends?
How did they fail to see this coming?
I mean, you can only hold so much pain,
and recently it seems like the tap's been running.
Families grow distant, but it's meant to be your friends you can rely on.
They shouldn't be there for just fun and drinks.
They should be the shoulder to cry on.
They should be the ones you turn to, when you can't talk to your family.
But they failed to because although you didn't ask for their support,
it should have been mandatory.
But as you said before, this just affects you.
It's your life, your body, so you can choose what you do.
And if one day you can't rein it in,
and of your last breath you are the only witness,
then so be it,
cause it’s your last breath,
and it's nobody else’s business...

... ...

Vissa saker är för tunga för att ens julafton ska kunna väga upp.
Jag ger upp alla julaftonar och alla andra dagar, bara detta inte händer.

Man dör inte bara. Kom tillbaka.

Varför är vissa dagar dåliga dagar?

Jo, för att det ska vara så.
Tänk om det vore julafton varje dag, då vore ju självaste julafton inte särskilt speciell alls.
Det är nog därför som denna dagen är en dålig dag, mitt ibland många bra dagar.

När man vet om att vissa dagar är dåliga dagar just för att julafton kommer bli extra speciell just i år, så känns den dåliga dagen inte lika dålig längre.
Det känns värt det, för i år blir det en extra speciell julafton.
Det kan ni räkna med!